Managing Family Conflict

Ground rules can help. No family members should have to put up with violence, intimidation, or threats of violence. We need to develop the confidence and skills to know when to insist upon a ‘time-out’ or cooling-off period, when needed, but also to develop the skills and confidence to talk and listen in ways that are constructive rather than destructive. You will find help with this elsewhere on this website (see the section on ‘Communication’)

We should try to look honestly into our own motives… are we simply wanting to win the argument and come out ‘on top’, or are we seeking to understand and appreciate the other’s feelings and viewpoint, as well as help them to appreciate our feelings and perspective? Sometimes, of course, conflict will produce clear winners and losers, but that will feel more acceptable all round if the winners and losers are not always the same individuals! In life, the best arguments are rarely won or lost, but settled, with advances made, and ground conceded, on both sides. It’s called compromise.