Parenting Grown Up Children – A Dad’s Story

I am Sam. I’m coming up to retirement. Fiona and I are worried about our eldest son, Matthew. He’s married to a lovely girl, Rosie; they had their tenth anniversary last year, and have two young children.

My Problem. We’ve learned from Rosie, that Matthew has been having an affair with a woman at work. He left the marital home two weeks ago, supposedly to sort himself out.  I’ve spoken to him on the telephone, and told him, we’ll have nothing to do with him, until he goes back and tries to sort things out with Rosie and the children. I’ve since learned that my wife, I’m sorry to say, is still in communication with him.

How I understood my problem. I initially felt very let down by wife. I think we should keep a united front over this. She agrees but finds it hard to stand back. Matthew needs a clear indication from us that his behaviour is out of order

 
What I’m going to do to change things. I’ve offered to pay for a series of counselling sessions for them both, although at the moment he’s shown no sign of picking it up. We’re being as supportive as we can be to our daughter-in-law, and our grandchildren. We are going to try hard to be neutral which means making a rule not to pass our opinions on to either of them, just keep talking about what we really think with each other.

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