Valentine’s Day – So what?

At this time of romantic gestures and the “love is all around” feeling – it might be useful to consider those who do not want to take part.

Each couple relationship is a unique creation between two people. For some couples the idea of showing their love and appreciation of each other on February 14th is not something they want to do. Especially if they are saying; “we do loving things, send notes, exchange gifts, and romantic things all through the year”.

We know that some couple relationships grow and are maintained because of an understanding of each other’s needs, likes and dislikes. They communicate well, and are in no doubt what is required for their partner to feel loved by them.

So what if –

• You don’t “do” Valentine’s day because you decided long ago that it wasn’t necessary?
• Your partner says “don’t bother to send me a card” and then they do?
• You would really like a card, and a gift, and your partner thinks it’s all a waste of time and money?
• Your children think it is just for young people and parents sending cards of undying love is “sick”?
• You both believe that each would not like to do something special on that day, and goes along with that although would secretly like to?
• This day with no gesture or acknowledgement ends up being another symbol of the relationship breakdown

Some thoughts:

• If you expect a gesture for Valentine’s day and do not communicate that expectation (tell your partner) – then you will be disappointed
• Just because you don’t “do” Valentine’s Day usually, that may not mean that you don’t need to review it from time to time
• How would your partner score your romantic and affectionate gestures in general  from 0 – 5?
• How would you score your own romantic and affectionate gestures from 0 – 5?
• Would a Valentine gesture increase the score?
• Usually the way that a partner shows their caring, loving and affectionate feelings towards you – is the way that they would like to receive them back.  So if that is washing your car, or cleaning the loos, you may want have a discussion and spell out what it is that you would really like.

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