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I am Tracey - Step Families


I am Tracey

I'm Tracey, 37, divorced two years, bringing up two girls, 12 and 9.

My Problem

I’ve met a man who seems very nice. He’s 40, never been married. My ex- has become really difficult since I’ve been seeing this man. When he drops the girls off, he’s started making comments about my new fella, interrogates me about him, says he should meet him before he has anything more to do with the girls.

How I understood my problem

My ex- married his lover as soon as the divorce went through. I have to say, despite what I feel about her, she tries hard with my kids, and consults with me if there’s anything to ask or report, but I think the older one still blames her for the breakup. I could have given my ex- a much harder time when he first asked to have the girls to stay with him and her. I don’t see why he should be so untrusting of me now. Is it just because it’s a new man, and abusers are usually men?

What I’m going to do to change things

I’m not arguing with my ex face to face. He can always bamboozle me with words. I’m going to write to him and make it clear that I take the girls’ well-being just as seriously as he does, and I’ll be the judge of who I think fit to mix with them in my own house. 

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4 comments about "I am Tracey - Step Families"

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i am sad said:

how did u get out

February 23, 2010 at 06:31 pm
hello kerry said:

he has to appreciate that you know whats best for your girls and their best interests are in your heart first and foremost. enjoy yourself dont let him have your time. He is only jelous. Writing is a good tool to avoid confrontation and good to look back on at a later date. kids like to see mums happy not sad so you just make sure you keep yourself and your girls happy not him. you have cut those apron strings now. well done

March 16, 2010 at 02:07 pm
Steph(Relate) said:

Thanks for the encouraging words Kerry --I will pass them on to Tracey. I agree with you about writing being a good tool both to avoid confrontation and to get rid of feelings and experiences that are troubling you. that is why the Relate for Parents Live Chat service is so popular.

April 14, 2010 at 11:17 am
Hi said:

Good

April 23, 2010 at 05:42 pm

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